If you are reading this article, you or someone you know is trying to quit porn and ask for help. The good news is: In most cases, there is no need for expensive rehabilitation or retreats for you to get rid of porn from your life.
Whenever you change your habits, whether it’s smoking, soda or pornography, the important thing to remember is that there is no magic mantra. Changing habits takes time, discipline, and dedication, and everyone’s process will be slightly different. Progress is not linear either.
In some weeks, you will feel that you are giving up this habit and replacing it with a new one, while in other weeks you will experience setbacks that make you feel bad. It’s ok. The key is not to lie on your back, but to wipe the dust off yourself and then stand up again.
It’s all About the RIGHT GOALS
Have you ever felt like you are just sleepwalking, ignorant of why you actually want to quit porn? Maybe you know exactly what you want to achieve, but you don’t know how to achieve it.
This is where goal setting comes into play. Goals are the targets at which you aim your arrow and shoot at the bullseye to quit porn for good. With good intentions and all, these are the common goals that people set in this scenario.
But the thing is that, these just don’t work as one expects them to.
You can cure yourself just by staying away from porn
In most cases, your use of porn goes beyond just pornography. It could involve aspects such as low self-esteem during adolescence or even traumatic events in childhood. Whether it is one year or four years, if the root cause of pornography is not addressed, pornography will inevitably reappear in your life.
Some men’s addiction to porn goes far beyond sex addiction, and even fulfills their fantasies about volunteers and unwelcome participants. Don’t mess with your recovery. You need change the person that porn has turned you into.
You try to fix everything at once
Let us say that you have relationship issues, are addicted to sex, suffer from erectile dysfunction and also have depression. Trying to get out of the chaos and trying to solve all problems at once will make you frustrated and nervous, which makes this journey more difficult than before.
The simple solution is to solve one problem at a time. You need to find out what the biggest problem is and work on that first. How can you solve this problem? Do a very detailed analysis of each relapse that you have
The RIGHT GOALS to Set if You Want to Quit Porn
Try setting your goals in these lines instead.
Claim back your productivity
When you are in the phase of recovery, do not set your sole target on just trying to quit porn. Try to focus on other things in your life that you have to do or things that make you happy. Find new hobbies, talk to new people or try to restart the romance with your partner.
Once you work on focusing on everything other than porn, you are already well on your way to quitting in. the goal is to get your mind off of it gradually and never abruptly. Always try to keep yourself busy with things that make you feel productive. A great idea is to hit the gym and release all of your stress while working out.
Live an honest and guilt-free life
You may now realize that pornography is time-consuming. Time is precious; use it to create lasting memories, say no to those images that disappear with one click and just make you feel bad later
We know that you have heard about “post nut clarity”. After you finish watching porn, you start to feel guilty and unappreciative of yourself. You could set for your reasons to stop watching porn is- to be true to yourself and lead a better life with your partner and yourself.
Why the Right Goals will Serve you Better?
If your goal is to quit porn, the stakes are quite high. You want to regain confidence and trust that you lost with time. Not only can you benefit from your decision, but so can your relationship with your family and loved ones in life. Setting a tangible goal can help you move forward one happy step at a time.
Before proceeding with the solution, you need to ask yourself two very important questions as this is essential for future success.
Why should I bother with this?
Why do you want to quit porn? Focusing on the answer to this question can show how much you value this commitment and how successful you will ultimately be. You may want to give up porn to improve your relationship with your wife and become a better father to your family.
Maybe you are tired of wasting time on negative images and are ready to focus on creating positive things. There are many reasons, but please take a moment to figure out what makes you want to quit porn.
Human beings are generally wired to run away from pain to pleasure. Recovery can be painful in the beginning but if you keep reminding yourself of why you are doing this, you can succeed. A person who understands the motivation behind their decisions, whether in relationships or to improve mental health and brain function, can consider these benefits when pursuing goals.
What do I want to achieve?
Understand the details of your goal and customize it according to your needs. If you watch porn every day, your goals may be slightly different from those of people who only watch porn without watching them with their spouse.
Remember, a better strategy is to be as specific as possible about your goals, rather than vague strategies such as “I want to quit porn.” You can replace watching pornography with other activities once a week, and increase this quantity monthly.
Just remember not to keep a goal to find out how many days you can live without porn, because it just completely destroys the purpose of why you are trying to quit. It’s time to plan and you will be one step ahead.
Changing from the daily habit of visiting pornographic sites to a one-year of cold turkey is a key to failure not success. As mentioned above, start with something you can easily handle, for example, replace it with another activity every week, and then build. You want to focus on long-term changes that require time, patience, and gradual growth.
The Role that Positive Thinking Can Play Here
Taking a positive mental approach, where you’d be responsible for encouraging yourself is the way to go. As if you don’t take the step to encourage yourself, not many people will come forward to do that.
The Golden Triangle
Do you want to get rid of the idea of looking for porn once and for all? Positive thinking can inherently help you in eliminating pornographic thoughts. In fact, our energy will follow us to focus on anything we care about.
How you take care of your body is related to your thought life. If you encounter negative or pornographic content in movies, TV or even friends’ comments, it will always stick around in your head.
Pay attention to the golden triangle of personal concern: exercise, diet and sleep. The lack of any of these substances will hinder your brain’s ability to think clearly. There is a very intimate connection between the body and mind. Respect this relationship.
Positive Reinforcement
Your opinion of yourself becomes a positive affirmation, just like a Sherpa guide leading you to Mount Everest. It has the power to strengthen positivity. It can completely reinforce your self-confidence and self-esteem. A good positive statement cannot be a statement that reinforces normal (normative) behavior, nor can it be weak. You must teach yourself to think positively.
As with any addiction, it is difficult to quit porn, but once you decide to immerse yourself in positive thoughts, you will begin to see the positive effects. When your sexual energy is balanced, you will feel more focused and active in your life. It will improve with your partners. Then you will have real intimacy in your relationship.
Committing yourself to recovery
Remember that your achievements in life can be an important part of changing your mind. Addiction often makes people suspicious of performance. Addicts are people who think they are worthless or have not achieved much. Learning to take time to reflect on the positive progress you have made can help get rid of the negative thoughts that caused the relapse.
Commit to staying awake every day when you wake up and stay in touch with your sobriety throughout the day. Anticipate the threats you may face and the tools you will use to avoid them. Beat your sobriety consciously. Recovery does not happen by accident. It takes a lot of positive action on a daily basis. What better way to guide your thoughts and actions like a great coach?
Conclusion
If you starting changing your way of thinking, you will start changing your life. But like any skill, it requires practice. This approach starts with a vision. What is your goal? Making a “why” for every action plan in your life will make it easier for you to find the “how”. Connect with the “why” and make it easier through the “how.”
When do you plan to start your journey to quitting porn for good? The answer to that question must be “right now” because postponing good things is never a good start. How do you plan to implement your road to recovery? Will you adopt the suggestion mentioned in this article? Comment below in the comment section on your through process and your progress.
