How I Overcame My Porn Addiction

How I Overcame My Porn Addiction: My Story

How I Overcame My Porn Addiction

I remember the first time I saw hardcore porn. I was just a kid in second grade. And well, it was so shocking for my first encounter that the images are still burned in my mind. In fact, at that time, I was so shocked I remember immediately turning it off. 

After that, I voluntarily stayed away from porn. Of course, only until my second unplanned experience. I was in middle school when I came upon porn again at a bookstore. And this time, I was quite intrigued & interested. Porn felt like a relief, a comforting escape from the chaos of my teenage life. It quickly became my go-to entertainment. 

Now, what was most contradicting to my situation was that growing up, I was deeply involved in church. I came to Christ at a young age and thought my faith would shield me from any kind of vices. I will know where to draw a line; and when to stop. 

But was it really happening? Was I really keeping away from harmful things? No, I was literally hooked on my vices. 

As a child with faith in the church, I felt like I was cheating on my own principles. And things were just getting worse, especially with all the overthinking I was doing. I used to indulge in hardcore porn, feel bad after it, overthink about it all and yet still go back to watching again whenever the urge hit me. By the time I was in high school, the guilt started to eat away at me. I thought I had to handle this burden alone, just Jesus and me. Talking about it to anyone felt impossible.

When I was 21, I took a significant step and went to Bible school in Austria. Later, I entered full-time Christian ministry. But I brought my porn addiction with me. I led a double life, and the shame grew deeper. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just give up this addiction. 

How can my values and principles be so double-faced? 

I really felt ashamed of myself. So, I buried my vices as deeply as possible, trying to keep them hidden at all costs. But the guilt, shame, and a lingering depression were growing deep with time. What’s more, my actions were not only costing me but also affecting my relationship with my wife. She did know about my addiction issue. On her end, she even tried to understand and be there for me. But my consistent obsession with porn was creating a big wall between us. Due to my own actions, I was eventually losing an amazing relationship in my life.

At one point, I decided to take a year off from ministry to focus on my recovery. I attended counseling, hoping for a breakthrough, but nothing seemed to work. The dejection & despair was overwhelming. I started to believe I was broken beyond repair. I was not good enough for humanity. My faith wavered, and hopelessness took over. I felt completely defeated.

Then, a chance encounter changed everything. I met Ted Roberts, the founder of Pure Desire Ministries. 

For the first time, I found a Christian man who understood what I was going through. My wife and I began his counseling and recovery program. Ted guided us through sexual addiction counseling with a biblical perspective. Through this program, I learned that at the heart of my addiction was my intimacy issues. That the major reason I persisted with porn addiction despite realizing all the wrong it was bringing into life was my issues with real-life intimacy. Porn had really destroyed it for me. Connecting with real people, my wife, on a genuine level was getting difficult for me, all due to the false charms and highs of porn. 

Well, understanding this was a turning point. Now, when I struggle, I know why and have the tools to cope. My intimacy wounds are healing, and I am learning to trust both my wife and the Lord with my whole being.

I am proud to say I’ve been sober for three solid years now! No acting out, no relapses. 

Today, I’m using what I learned from Ted to help others because I know how desperately this message is needed. There is hope, and you can find lasting freedom, too. And you don’t have to deal with it alone. In fact, the biggest lesson I learned is that isolation is the enemy. We often think we need to handle our struggles alone, just us and Jesus. But breaking that isolation and learning to ask for help is where true healing begins. 

Trust is built, and freedom is found in community and vulnerability.

This journey has been anything but easy. It’s been filled with ups and downs, moments of despair, and glimmers of hope. But now, I’m walking with integrity and purity. And you can too! 

Take the first step, trust in yourself to change, and move ahead with faith in the one who can conquer sin — Christ. Reach out for help. Break the silence. Trust in the process and the people who are willing to walk this road with you. Your journey to freedom starts with a single step of faith.

Also Read

Free from Porn Addiction
How Quitting Porn Boosted My Confidence
30 Days of No Fap and What I Learned?
How I Win Over My Urges?
My Journey to Freedom from Addiction & ED
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Morgan Schmidt

Morgan Schmidt, LPC, a Yale University graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology, specializes in addiction treatment and is a licensed professional counselor. His practice as a therapist is informed by both his academic background and hands-on experience in the field. In addition to his therapeutic work, Morgan is also an active writer, sharing his knowledge on psychological and addiction topics, thereby reaching and educating a broader audience.