How to Find the Perfect Accountability Partner for Porn Addicts? 

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Before we get into to how and where to find an accountability partner, let’s first understand what exactly is accountability? 

What Is Accountability? 

Accountability is similar to responsibility wherein it is having a duty towards a certain task but the difference is in responsibility there is ownership and in accountability you have both ownership and you are liable to answer to someone else regarding the task.  

Most of us work on internal accountability, where we are accountable only to ourselves. With this we tend to let loose and not truly stick to the plan but when there is external accountability you are more likely to achieve your goal.  This helps with productivity, focus and reaching high standards. 

You might find it more difficult to fail with an accountability partner. Now this is interesting because when another person is involved it is harder to let them know that you have not completed the smaller tasks, it is natural to want validation and keep a certain image with this partner. Therefore, you tend to stay focused and work harder on your goal. 

Another reason why external accountability is more beneficial because your partner can remind you of the action plan and goals you have laid out. They act as a reminder and a source of motivation to keep moving forward. 

External accountability can increase the likelihood of sticking to your plans and forming new habits. This is why support groups are successful models. 

In order to accomplish personal goals, you must commit to one specific person and schedule time to share your progress with them. Accountability partnerships are therefore such great tools for personal development. 

What is an accountability partner? 

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An ‘accountability partner’ is a person who helps you keep your commitment towards a certain goal. Unlike life coaches, accountability partners have a more specific and narrowed down goal. Accountability partners are often used to ensure a person adhered to a moral commitment, such as abstaining from consuming pornography. 

 The term ‘accountability partner’ is a pretty new term and has gained wide spread use since 1990. Nowadays, you can find an accountability partner for multiple reasons like physical fitness, career success, or anything at all. Accountability partners also fall under the buddy system so your partner can also be called your buddy. 

Accountability partners keep track of your activities that are related to the specific goal. They make sure that you stay focused on track to achieve this goal. 

It is a partnership where you help each other by staying updated and providing feedback regularly. Your relationship should be based on trust and commitment where there is mutual support along the journey. 

It is important to fulfil the same duties for your accountability partner. As your partner helps you with your goals, make sure to repay them with your efforts in their journey.  

Difference between accountability partner and accountability coaches

Having an accountability partner is a two-way street, as they help you get on top of your tasks you should in return provide valuable insight. The relationship should be mutually beneficial, this is why accountability partners are different from coaches.  

There is a clear distinction between accountability partners and accountability coaches or life coaches, accountability coaches are professionals who are hired to help you with certain goals but you don’t help them in return. There is no sense of comradery as the relationship is one-sided and accountability coaches are quite expensive. 

Accountability coaches are performance based and completely focused on the output, whereas accountability partners help you constantly to give you feedback and they are focused on development. They make sure to have regular follow ups and weekly catchups to see the progress and provide immediate feedback, making it more of steady step-by-step process. 
 

Who Should Be Your Accountability Partner?  

This could either be a friend, colleague or someone who could help you achieve your goals. They need to be someone who can help keep you focused and on track. A little bit of tough love is necessary to hold you to account. These goals can be professional or personal, health-related or even just for personal development.  

It is preferred to not choose someone who is close to you, as they may give a biased opinion. This may be family members, your spouse or sometimes even close friends. Make sure your relationship with that person can handle the responsibility of being an accountability partner. 

You do not have to limit yourself to find a partner with similar interest goals. The only criteria to find a good accountability partner is that they should focused in their own field. They must be driven individuals with a passion for personal development and have specific goals they wish to achieve.  

Your buddy should be able to be stern with you when you are slacking on your targets and being lax with your daily plan. This person should be someone you respect; this is important because then you value their opinion.  

With this kind or any kind of partnership there is a level of trust that should be maintained. This keeps information confidential and makes you feel like the information you shared is in safe hands.  

Where to find accountability partners for porn addicts? 

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An accountability partner is especially helpful to curb porn addiction. This is because the fight against pornography can often times be a very lonely one. People are aware of substance use addictions but rarely do people talk about behavioral addictions like excessively watching porn.  

Porn addiction is often times gone unnoticed and most people don’t have conversations about it. This prevents addicts from sharing their experiences and similar struggles. This is why BlockerX has a platform called “Community” where you can share your experiences and chat with fellow users. On Community you can ask questions, share your thoughts, put up polls and even chat with people individually.  

Community is extremely useful as platform to find an accountability partner. It has a feature where you can send a request to any user and they can accept it to become your accountability partner.  

With porn addiction, people need a safe space where they can express themselves without judgement. This is a space where the problems you are going through aren’t taboo. You can create this safe space through therapy, support groups and an accountability partner.  

Along with all that, you have journaling and scheduling to track your triggers when it comes to porn addiction. This helps in identifying patterns. There will always be specific triggers you have which push you to use/watch smut. Scheduling is used to give you a routine. Once you have a routine, it doesn’t let your mind wander because you always have something lined up to do. This helps with abstinence from watching porn.  

How to Find an Accountability Partner? (Make sure they walk the walk) 

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If you already have a person in mind like a co-worker, you can go up to them and ask them. You can even reach out to old colleagues or friends with whom you wish to team up and work with as a partner. They may have similar goals or maybe completely different ones from yours but either way you can help each other out by forming an alliance. 

If you do not know anyone in particular, you can use Community on the BlockerX app, or go through online platforms, websites or blogs where you can find people who relate to your interests. These platforms offer options where you can chat with people and find your accountability partner. 

You can also find partners through accountability apps like Action Buddy.  

Once you’ve found someone that you believe could be a potential buddy try to analyse if this person is committed to achieving their goals. Make sure you meet up with them before you initiate the partnership. This way you can understand their mindset and their vision for your shared journey.  

Most importantly see if your energies match and you feel like the partnership could work. This is known as checking for compatibility. Check if you can align your schedules and find time or make time to regularly meet and discuss your daily activities, achievements and even road blocks along the way. A constant back and forth is necessary for the relationship to be balanced.  

What to Look for in a Partner? 

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Look for partner who is willing to put in the time. This is a major factor that plays into the success rate of having an accountability partner. Accountability partners are known to give constant feedback and have weekly follow ups throughout the progress. If the person you have chosen is not willing to put in the time, then it becomes very difficult to maintain the relationship. 

Find a partner who is genuinely interested in helping you succeed. Partnering should be exciting for them, rather than just looking at what they can get from it. 

Equally, you need to be excited in helping them too! Being excited to help them with their goals is equally important to finding the right partner. It is necessary that you both commit to your own goals, but also engage fully in helping the other person reach theirs. 

It is extremely important that the person you choose is trustworthy. Trust is a very important virtue in this type of set up. The information you shared to your partner in confidence must always be kept private.  

It is important to bare this in mind because the information you share with your partner is sensitive and may affect relationships and work place dynamics. Therefore, confidentiality is key as we discussed earlier. 

In order to stay motivated, you need to talk to someone who can boost your spirits if you are deflated. You may want to find someone with similar communication style and work ethic as your own. This makes the process a lot smoother. 

You need to find someone slightly more disciplined than you. This pushes you to do your side of things a lot more carefully to meet your partner’s standards. Since they are disciplined, it is less likely that they take it easy on you. 

It is extremely important to think about how similar you are in your journey. If your partner has achieved a lot already the relationship may be imbalanced. Your partner can feel more like a coach and this feels authoritative and one sided. On the other hand, your partner may feel like they don’t stand to gain anything in this relationship, as they are far ahead in the process and may find your opinion not worthy.  

A healthy relationship is one where you both feel challenged and encouraged equally. 

How to set up an Accountability Partnership?

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When you have decided to move forward with an accountability partnership and you feel like you have chosen the right person. The next step is to set up the rules of initiation!  

First, work out how often you should meet. This completely depends on your specific goal and availability of your partner. It is best to follow-up at least once a week. Make sure your schedules align to a certain extent, so it is easier to have meet ups. 

Throughout the week, you can keep in contact by sending emails or daily check-in messages to stay updated on the progress achieved each day and if there are any setbacks. Some prefer weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly meetings that last a little longer. 

Once you’ve decided on the how often you will meet, you need to honor these commitments by adding them to your diary or calendar. If anything comes up and you are unable to follow through with the plan of meeting up, please make sure to let them know beforehand. But it is extremely important to know that once you have committed yourself to must go through with these meetings. 

It is best if the meetings are kept short and focused. To do this you can bring a planner along with you where you have written down your daily progress, your goals for the upcoming week and you’re the setbacks you faced during the week. It is also important to write down any points you have to improve your partner’s journey. 

Accountability partners can be used in all aspects of our life, that may be professional or personal.  

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Here are some of the areas in which you can utilize an accountability partner: 

  • For your business goals- When starting a business, it is important to have someone who can keep you accountable, especially with regards to finances. You may go overboard with spending for inventory. But it is better off to work with what you already have and when you the business starts picking up you can later invest into the business. An accountability partner can help you come up with an actionable plan to achieve both short-term and long-term goals. 
  • Academic goals- The buddy system is especially helpful when it comes to academic goals. You can start off by finding you the subjects you have a tough time with and focus a lot of your efforts on this.  Come up with a study schedule with your buddy and have regular combined study sessions. This will motivate you to both help your buddy and learn more for yourself. 
  • Improve your spending habits- Even with personal spending 
  • Any other personal aspirations it is important to budget and come up with a plan to save money and spend wisely. Your partner can help with allotting cash for different needs. 

Conclusion 

By finding the right accountability partner you are on your way to maximize your results and achieve personal and professional success. The buddy system is a proven way for you to achieve your goals. 

Related articles:

TOP 12 BEST WAYS TO SHOW ACCOUNTABILITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

7 Tips to Quit Porn Forever

10 Best Videos On Porn Addiction

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