It’s Valentine’s Day!
You may have a valentine or you may not, either way we got to get through this. This day universally represents grand gestures of love and big red hearts and chocolates, well most of it is marketing. But at the center of it all stands love.
We usually tend to believe that it is only limited to romantic love, but love nonetheless. This Valentine’s Day practice self-love through affirmations, so you can learn to appreciate yourself in ways you haven’t before.
Your life might be filled with stressors from work or classes or even your family. Throughout everyday troubles you might doubt yourself.
Take a small break, go for a walk if you don’t like walks maybe do something small and nice for yourself. Eat something that you like or buy something that you’ve been really wanting. Don’t go overboard and do something you’ll regret later. Just a small gift to yourself.
Treat yourself! You deserve it. I feel like most of us have spent years hating aspects of ourselves. Maybe we have slowly come to terms with who we are. We may not realize it, but we might be too hard on ourselves. Be compassionate to yourself, the way you are with others.
Let us now look at a theory that is based on protecting our self-esteem and how we view ourselves.
The Self-Affirmation theory was proposed by Claude Steele, a social psychologist. He believed that when one’s sense of self is threatened either through criticism or conflicting views, one responds either defensively or in healthier ways.
Self-Affirmation theory says that by reassuring yourself in other aspects you feel protected against this external criticism or threat faced. People tend to protect their sense of self or self-integrity.
What is self-integrity and sense of self?
Self-integrity is believing that one’s sense of self is good natured and is aligned with societal values and norms. Self-Affirmation Theory
The self or self-identity is identified or defined by our roles, values and belief systems. Roles such as being a parent, spouse or working professional can shape how you view yourself. These roles can help us to identify parts of who we are, maybe that’s being a teacher or a dancer and so on.
Values or core values are fundamental beliefs a person lives by. Values are deep-rooted and often do not change over time. These build a sense of self and most of our actions are based on these values.
Core values such as leadership, creativity and kindness can be identifiers of how we perceive ourselves. Each person has a set of core values that is extremely important to them.
Beliefs tend to change over time, either from external influences or due to new information etc.
It is known that people tend to defend themselves when their sense of self is threatened. An example of this might be: Tom believes that he is intellectual and he places intellect at a higher regard. Then if Susan questions Tom’s intellect, he usually tends to get defensive.
This is a natural response as the mind has many defense strategies to preserve the self. It helps to maintain this image that the self is good and morally adequate. (Claude M. Steele, 1988)
Self-Affirmation theory in simple words says that if you compliment or acknowledge other parts of yourself, you will be able to hear criticism about one specific part of you.
Studies have shown that the self-affirmation theory can help to reduce stress, improve academic efforts and create a more positive self-image. (Sherman & Cohen, 2006)
To study self-affirmation people where told:
- To identify a core value
- Write an essay about the core value and your personal successes relating to it
This usually helps to broaden one’s perspective and helps them think positively. This technique can also be used today.
Similar to the self-affirmation theory, self-affirmation or affirmations are positive statements you can tell yourself to condition your thinking. Affirmations work better if you have high self-esteem. This helps because you truly believe in the words you are saying.
Now this is something we have all heard of. Some people might be sceptical of the power of affirmations but as we have just discussed, self-affirmation theory has been researched and proven to resist stress and self-affirmations are based on a similar principle.
Through affirmations we are putting out good intentions and a positive outlook. It primes our minds into believing what we want.
How to use self-affirmations:
- Say it out loud or write it down (probably some place that you see every day)
- Use present tense
- Only positive statements
- Pick the ones that mean the most to you
5 Amazing Affirmations you can use on Valentine’s Day
#1 I am loved– We usually tend to underestimate the number of people who love and care for us. Sometimes, we feel neglected or lacking in feeling loved. But remind yourself that you are loved. You are surrounded by people who support you and care for your well-being.
#2 I am enough– This affirmation is very powerful. Everybody feels inadequate some time or the other. So many expectations and societal norms and standards that you will pressured to meet. Saying this affirmation can help you remember that you are all you need to make significant changes in your life.
Write down all your achievements, big and small. Everything you are proud of can be included in this list. Once you are done writing read it and say the affirmation. If your list is small, it’s probably because you aren’t considering the small wins.
#3 I deserve to be happy– Everyone deserves to be happy; don’t you think? You are also one from this group called ‘everyone’. You deserve to be happy not because of things you do or your achievements but simply because you are a person.
#4 I am capable of doing great things– People who have done great things, noteworthy achievements weren’t always great. Some of them didn’t know that they were destined for greatness. You start small and when you see an opportunity where your help is valuable, you do it.
We are all capable of great things the only question is “Do we let fear stop us from doing so?” Self-doubt has crushed so many dreams. Tell yourself, “I am capable of doing great things”. Believe in your affirmation and do what is necessary to make your dreams come true.
#5 I love and accept all parts of me– Remember that you are human and you are allowed to make mistakes; learn from them, grow from them. Every experience shaped us to be who we are. Accepting yourself might take some time. So, forgive yourself and tell yourself, “It’s ok”.
Keep working on yourself. You will start loving who you are and your efforts.
Morning affirmations are ones that are usually positive, invigorating, exciting and inspiring. As soon as you wake up, put your phone aside, make your bed and get up and say these affirmations aloud:
- I am excited for today
- I believe in myself
- I have control over my happiness
- I have everything I need to be happy right now
- Nothing is impossible for me
- Today I choose to be confident
Affirmations you can use before going to bed:
These affirmations usually help you wind down and prepare for a good night’s sleep. They usually include themes of gratitude and a feeling of calmness. Some affirmations for the night:
- I am grateful for the gifts I have received today
- My mind and body are ready to rest
- I am at peace with my actions
- I am worthy of good sleep
- I am proud of myself for today
- I deserve love, I deserve peace, I deserve rest.
Pick the affirmations that resonate with you the most.
To read more articles from BlockerX, click down below:
- Mental Health Stigma in Men and Women
- 6 Types of Sexual Relationships
- Does Female Masturbation Cause Hormonal Imbalance?
- Things That Destroy a Marriage