How to Tell Someone You Like Them

How To Tell Someone You Like Them 2024

Telling someone you like them can be super scary. You might fear rejection or ruining a friendship, and it’s normal to feel this way. But sharing your feelings can also bring about some great possibilities. It can lead to a deep and wonderful relationship. 

So, how do you go about it? How to tell someone you like them? Why is it so hard to express your best feelings?!!! 

Well, expressing your feelings doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Yet, it always is. I understand your frustration; been there done that! However, after years of experience, I can tell you that expressing yourself doesn’t need to be awkward or hard. It’s a skill you can learn and improve over time, just like anything else. 

Today, we will explore the best possible ways to tell someone you like them. So, if you are unsure where to start, don’t worry—here’s your guide.

How to Tell Someone You Like Them?

How to tell someone you like them?

Well, confessing your feelings to someone requires honesty, courage, and a bit of planning. So, here’s a step-by-step guide to help you deal with this potentially nerve-racking yet exciting experience:

Step 1: Be Sure of Your Feelings 

Personally, I think the first thing we need is to be really sure about our feelings. So, before you express your feelings, take some time to reflect on them. Ask yourself: 

  • Are your feelings based on genuine affection and a desire to know the person better? 
  • Are you attracted to their personality and qualities, or is it just a fleeting crush? 
  • Do you want to take it a step further?
  • Are you ready to explore a genuine relationship? 
  • And are you ready to gracefully face a rejection if it comes to that?

Understanding your emotions will help you communicate them more clearly and act in the best way possible. 

Step 2: Show Your Interest Through Subtle Actions

Once you are clear about your feelings, it’s time to move ahead with subtle smartness. One of the best ways I find to do this is by showing your interest through actions. 

For instance, 

  • Make eye contact. When you lock your eyes, hold their gaze for a few extra seconds, then smile warmly. 
  • Ask them thoughtful questions and actively listen to their responses. 
  • Pay attention to things they mention they like or dislike. Later, you can reference them to show you were listening. You can recommend a favourite movie, book, or piece of music of the genre they mentioned. Or share funny memes related to something they like.
  • Remember to pay attention to their response.
    • Are they reciprocating your efforts? 
    • Are they interested in getting to know you better? These small gestures and actions can help you understand their interest in you and help you move ahead accordingly. 

Step 3: Ask an Open-Ended Question & Compliment them.

Another subtle way to express your feelings is by asking an open-ended question. For instance, ask your crush, “What do you think it would be like if we dated?” In fact, you can subtly place this question as a fun idea. Or in between, playfully teasing them. Pay attention to their reaction, how they take this up, and how they respond. 

If you are chatting online, you can consider saying, “I really enjoy our conversations. Would you like to meet up sometime?” This genuine approach lets the other person respond openly, helping you understand their feelings.

Besides that, you can also consider complimenting them. You might say, “I think you are really interesting and funny, and I’ve been looking forward to our conversations. I was wondering if you felt the same way?” Now, though this is a bit straightforward, it acknowledges your feelings directly.

Step 4. Plan a Date 

Plan a comfortable Date

Now, if you think things are going great so far and your crush is interested, it’s time for some bolder steps. In fact, it’s best not to delay things; it just creates a feeling of uncertainty. 

So, ask your crush out on a date. However, remember to put it nicely.  You can say something like, “I have been enjoying getting to know you lately, and I was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee sometime?” 

Next, if they are ready to go ahead with the plan, choose a time and place. It’s best to go for options where you both can feel comfortable, like a walk in the park or a quiet cafe. 

Besides that, remember to consider your crush’s comfort as well. You are going to express your feelings; it will be something big for them as well. So, avoiding a private setting is best, as it may make your crush uncomfortable. 

Step 5: Boost Your Confidence

Before you express your feelings, it’s best to boost your confidence. And this comes with preparation and practice. So, practice what you want to say, either alone in front of a mirror or with a supportive friend. 

Additionally, wear an outfit that makes you feel good. These small steps can help you feel more confident when the moment comes.

Step 6: Make Them Comfortable

Before diving into your feelings, help your crush feel comfortable. Share a light-hearted joke. This can ease any initial awkwardness and create a positive atmosphere, making your confession smoother.

Step 7: Express Your Feelings

Once you are alone and both of you are at ease, express your feelings directly. 

Keep it simple and straightforward. You can consider saying, “I really like spending time with you, and I want you to know that I have feelings for you.” Or “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. I really like you, and I would love to see where things could go between us.” This clearly expresses your feelings and opens the door for a romantic possibility.

Besides that, remember to be confident (even if you don’t feel it), speak clearly, and make eye contact. Use their name, and maintain a relaxed posture. Do not sit too close to them; this can make them uncomfortable. 

Step 8. Be Prepared for Any Response

After expressing your feelings, give your crush time to process what you have said. They might need a moment to think about their response. Be patient and understanding.

At the same time be prepared for any response. They might feel the same way, they might not be interested, or they might be unsure. They may share their feelings immediately or need more time. Be respectful of their response.

Focus on your feelings, not expectations. You are there to express how you feel, not to put pressure on them to reciprocate or expect a certain outcome.

Remember, rejection is a possibility, but it doesn’t define you. It’s better to be honest about your feelings than to wonder, “What if?”

How to Tell Someone You Like Them Without Telling Them?

Here’s a guide on how to tell someone you like them without telling them:

Step 1: Explore the Connection

Well, the first important thing is to explore your connection. So, get to know the person better on different levels. Understand their ideas, morals, and outlook on life. Now, the best way to do this is to have genuine conversations. 

Find opportunities to have real conversations with them. Ask questions about their lives, hobbies, or interests (but don’t be too intrusive). Notice if anything is making them uncomfortable and stop instantly. Be an active listener and remember the details they share.

Step 2: Show Interest Through Actions

We are all familiar with the phrase- action speaks louder than words. Now, it is time to take this seriously. Here is what you can do:

  • When they speak, maintain an open posture, uncrossed arms, and proper eye contact. Subtly mirror their body language to build rapport.
  • Offer Help & Remember Details. When appropriate, offer help with tasks or errands. Show you were paying attention by referencing things they mentioned earlier.
  • Engage in Playful Banter: Light-hearted teasing or playful arguments show comfort and familiarity. But avoid being mean-spirited.
  • Invite them to join you for things you enjoy, but be open to suggesting things they might like too. Keep it casual at first (coffee, a walk in the park).
  • Respond Quickly to Texts. Show you are interested in replying on time, but avoid appearing glued to your phone. Maintain a life outside of them.

Step 3: Understand Their Response

Paying attention to your crush’s responses is equally important. In fact, any healthy relationship builds on genuine responses from all ends. 

So, understand their responses. Do they initiate conversations or activities? Do they seem happy to see you and extend invitations of their own? Are they interested in knowing more about you? Do they really like spending time with you? 

If they seem receptive, consider extending a slightly more personal invitation, like grabbing dinner or attending a concert together.

However, if they don’t seem interested, don’t take it personally. Not everyone will feel the same way. Move on and focus your energy on people who reciprocate your interest.

Some Extra Tips: 

  • Be Yourself: Don’t put on a fake persona. Let your genuine personality shine through.
  • Don’t Be Pushy: Take things slow and allow the connection to develop naturally.
  • Respect Boundaries: Pay attention to their comfort level and avoid being overly clingy.
  • Enjoy the Process: Flirtation and getting to know someone can be fun!

How to Tell Someone You Like Them Over Text?

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to tell someone you like them over text:

  • Step 1. Set the Stage: Make sure you are in a good headspace and have a good feeling about reaching out. Avoid texting them right before bed or when they might be busy.
  • Step 2. Start a Conversation:  If you both are not already chatting, send a friendly text to start a conversation. This option is good, especially if you haven’t texted them in a while.
  • Step 3. Be Direct and Clear: Once the conversation is flowing, simply (but gracefully) come out with your feelings. You may consider saying:
    • “Hey, I really like you and wanted to let you know.”
    • “I have been enjoying talking to you, and I wanted to say that I have a crush on you.” Remember to Keep it short and sweet!
  • Step 4. Add a Casual Invitation (Optional): You can also consider casually inviting them to hang out with you. You can say, “Would you like to grab coffee sometime?” or “I was wondering if you’d be interested in [activity you both might enjoy].”  This will help you to gauge their interest:
  • Step 5. Relax and Breathe: Hit send and relax! Don’t bombard them with texts after sending your message. Give them time to respond and respect their feelings no matter what they say.

Bonus Tip:

Proofread your text before sending it to avoid typos & grammatical mistakes!

How to Tell Someone You Like Them Without Ruining Your Friendship?

Now, this is the most risky thing, I guess. Expressing your feelings to a friend can be scary, especially when you value the friendship and don’t want to risk losing it. So, here are ways to tell someone you like them while safeguarding your friendship:

Step 1: Reflect on Your Feelings

Before you say anything, take some time to think about your feelings. Be ‘SUPER’ sure. This is going to bring about some big changes. So, it’s best to know your real feelings. 

Step 2: Assess the Friendship

Now, before you make the move, consider the strength of your friendship. Ask yourself if your bond is strong enough to handle this conversation. Trust your instincts about whether it’s the right time to bring this up. If you feel uncertain, it might be helpful to wait until you are more confident in the stability of your friendship.

Step 3: Choose the Right Time and Place

Personally, I would suggest meeting your friend to express your feelings. However, if you are unsure about it, you can consider doing it over text or phone.  

Step 4: Start with Honest Communication

Begin by acknowledging the value of your friendship. You could say, “Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don’t want anything to change that.” This shows that you respect and care about the relationship.

Step 5: Subtly Can Be Your Best Friend

Next, it’s best to express your feelings carefully and considerately. Instead of being blunt, try to be more observational and neutral. For example, you might say, “I really like spending time with you, and I feel positive about our connection. I’m curious if you feel the same way.” Using words like “connection” and “curious” allows your friend to think about their own feelings without feeling pressured.

Step 6: Be Prepared for Any Response

Understand that your friend may need time to process what you have shared. Be ready for any response, whether it’s positive, neutral, or uncertain. If they reciprocate your feelings, that’s great! If they don’t, express your appreciation for their honesty and reassure them that you value the friendship and want to maintain it.

Step 7: Reassure Them About the Friendship

No matter their response, make it clear that you still value the friendship. You can say, “Regardless of how you feel, our friendship is very important to me, and I want to make sure it stays strong.” This shows that your primary concern is preserving the bond you share.

At the same time, remember to give them space to think and process. They might need time to consider their own emotions and what they want. Respect their need for time and avoid pressuring them for an immediate response.

Step 8: Continue Being a Good Friend

Regardless of the outcome, continue to be a supportive and caring friend. Show that your feelings haven’t changed the way you treat them. This consistency will help maintain the trust and connection you’ve built over time.

Step 9: Accept and Move On

Finally, accept their response gracefully and move forward. If they don’t feel the same way, understand that it’s okay. Focus on the positive aspects of your friendship and continue to cherish it. If they do reciprocate your feelings, take things slowly and see how the relationship develops naturally.

Lastly, remember my friends: telling someone you like them is never easy, but it can also be the start of something amazing. So, go ahead, plan properly, and express yourself. Good luck!

How To Tell Someone You Like Them? FAQs

Q1. How can I tell if the person likes me back?

Look for signs like frequent eye contact, spending time with you, engaging in conversations, and showing genuine interest in your life.

Q2. How to tell someone you like them without saying it?

Show your feelings through actions: spend more time together, use positive body language, give genuine compliments, and be supportive. These subtle cues can convey your affection without directly stating it.

Q3. How do I handle rejection if they don’t feel the same way?

Accept the response gracefully and thank them for their honesty. It’s important to respect their feelings and give yourself time to process your emotions.

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Lynda Mayer

Lynda Mayer, LPCC, an alumnus of the University of Minnesota with a master's degree in Clinical Psychology, is a seasoned licensed professional clinical counselor. With over a decade of experience in counseling, she specializes in adolescent mental health. Lynda actively shares her extensive knowledge and insights through writing, contributing significantly to the field of psychology and mental well-being. Her work not only demonstrates her expertise but also her commitment to improving adolescent mental health outcomes.